Fairy Tale Theatre: The Harry Potter Edition
by Happy Feet
Summary: Each chapter is a fairy tale told in only the ways of the Potter-verse (which means that it's not going to be like normal fairy tales). Many of your favorite stories...including: The Gingerbread Man, Snow White, etc!
1. The Beauty of Sleep

_Disclaimer :_ All Harry Potter things are copyright of the one and only JK Rowling. All the Fairy Tales are owned by whoever wrote them first... which wasn't me. Thank you ever so very much. I just put two and two together and got fifty-two. o.O Odd sort of math, I know... but yes... I own NOTHING.

Fairy Tale Theatre: The Harry Potter Edition

Masterpiece the First

The Beauty of Sleep

Throughout the ages, there has been a story told about the sleeping maiden awoken by her one true love. But, of course, this tale is absolutely poppycock. I mean... dragons? Fairies? Evil witches? Well - okay - it is all true... but nobody really knows exactly how it happened... until now...

Now my friends, you will hear the tale of _The Sleeping Beauty_ only as the Potter-verse can tell it to you...

x x x x x

"Oh, look, she's holding your finger, Ronald!"

Prince Ronald stared at the little whippersnapper as she grasped onto his finger. He felt sick to his stomach just looking at her... for a ten-month old she had extremely bushy, thick hair and huge front teeth. He looked over at the baby's mother, whom he thought gorgeous, then looked back at the small girl wrapped in pink lace...

He shivered at the thought that he was betrothed to that horrid little maggot...

"She's twitchy," Ronald cocked an eyebrow at the small bundle of - well, he couldn't say "joy," that's for sure - pink frills.

"Bawah..."

"Hush."

Ronald looked over to his mother who was holding his newborn sister who was gurgling out tons of nonsense; not that he cared, she was only a few weeks old. He looked back into the bassinet at his betrothed and hoped that she grew slightly pretty...

"Pay attention you lot!" The hall began to echo with drums as four small colored lights flew into the room.

"Rowena Ravenclaw!" The voice called out, as the blue light flew up to the bassinet and waved her blue wand around the child.

Ronald heard something along the lines of "wit and mental power."

"Helga Hufflepuff!" The voice called out, yet again.

"The gift of friendship and loyalty wherever you go." Ronald rolled his eyes as the yellow witch sprinkled yellow dust on the baby. He heard a small sneeze and hoped that he didn't catch any baby disease.

_Testy little things,_ he thought

"Salazar Slytherin!"

"The gift of cunning, I give to you..."

Ronald didn't hear the rest, since his mother put both her hands over his ears. He figured it was something to do with the baby being of "impure blood" by Slytherin's standards.

"Godric Gryffindor!"

Ronald smiled as the red light shot sparks in the air, and his booming voice filled the hall... "Little one, a gift I bring to you is that you be bold and daring in the face of great danger and adversity."

Applause filled the room as The Great Four disappeared with flashes of color.

x x x x x

"What's her name?"

Prince Ronald; now at the ripe old age of twenty-five; was trying to ignore his sister. It was, by no means, an easy task.

"Who?"

"The one that you're betrothed too... don't you know?" Ginevra asked incredibly.

"I don't know." Ronald said very matter-of-factly.

"Why did mother and father betroth you anyway? William, Charles, and Percius are the only ones really inheriting anything. You're only going to be-"

"Either a baron or a count, yes I know." Ronald rolled his eyes at his sister.

"I can be _anything_ that I want to be, you know." Ginevra muttered lazily. She found great pleasure in annoying her brother about him being the youngest boy.

"Yeah, you'll be the Queen of Sh-"

"Oh, look!" Ginevra pointed towards the castle. "It's that Fleur girl that you fancy!"

Ronald turned towards the castle to see the most beautiful woman on earth enter the gardens.

"Well, you great prat... go after her!" Ginevra shoved her brother in Fleur's general direction. "Maybe if you fall in love you won't have to marry... your betrothed."

Ronald turned to smile at his sister and hurried off.

_He's so completely in love._ Ginevra thought_. I can't believe mother and father actually betrothed him. It's completely wrong and unjustified. I can only thank Merlin that they didn't betroth me Lord Finnigan's boy... oh, the horror of it all..._

x x x x x

"Frederic and George!"

"George and Frederic!"

"Jesters extraordinaire! Sent to you from King Arthur and Queen Molly... bit of an early wedding gift, if you know what I mean."

One of the jesters winked at Hermione... was it George? Or Frederic? She smiled slightly and turned away.

"We thank you very much." Hermione stared at her father who bowed neatly to the jesters. "Who is who?"

"I'm Frederic," the one on the left said with a bow, tipping his multi-colored hat. "The smart one."

"And, I'm the much more handsome, George." The one on the right took a step forward and threw his hat in the air. It then burst into flames and fell back onto his head. Frederic took out his wand and splashed water onto his brother's head.

"Absolutely marvelous!" Hermione's father gushed. "Don't you think so, dear?" He was clapping and laughing loudly.

"Yes," Hermione smiled again. "Very much so."

x x x x x

"You have to marry _that_ bucktoothed cow?" Ginevra stared at the picture that Frederic and George were sending back. They both had magic cameras in their hats that sent photographs through a crystal ball; so Ronald and Ginevra could see exactly what the girl looked like. "She's absolutely hideous!"

"She's not that bad," Ronald thought. Considering the last time he'd seen her, she'd been a lot uglier and a lot more pink...

"Not _that_ bad?" Ginevra looked at her brother and placed her hands on her hips. "Do you need glasses?"

"Er... no?"

"You go straight to mum and dad and tell them that you will absolutely not marry Hermione, Lady of Dentistry. You tell them that you're marrying Fleur Delacour of the Veela Tribe." Ginevra insisted as she waved her wand over the crystal ball... the picture vanished.

"But..."

"Don't you argue with me!"

x x x x x

"Ginevra, dear, it is a good match for Ronald." Queen Molly patted her daughter's hand and smiled at her.

"But... she's ugly and he doesn't love her!" Ginevra quarreled.

"Oh, so you're the one who's been putting all these thoughts in his head." Molly nodded her head, knowing that her daughter had been making Ronald crazy. "Fleur is only a knight's daughter... Hermione is a baron's daughter. The match is much more suited for our dearest Ron."

"But, _mum_!"

"Ahem?"

"I mean... _mother_!"

x x x x x

If nobody was going to do anything about it, then Ginevra would stop the wedding before it even happened. She would... oh, yes... she would.

She looked into her crystal ball and decided on a very horrid plan. She didn't want to be evil, but sometimes, things just called for a dash of evil. She twirled her wand around her... her usual red robes were now a deep, dark purple. She then put a purple mask over the top of her face. It only showed her eyes and from her upper lip down.

She smiled at the evil garments she had magicked onto herself.

x x x x x

Hermione sat down at her vanity table and stared at her reflection. She wished that her hair was less frizzy, but that wasn't half her worries. How was it going to be... marrying someone she had never met before. Why did her parents want to do this to her, anyway? Well, of course, she knew that she was marrying a prince... and he'd become a baron or a count or... something like that. So, it was a good match for her... but that did not mean anything.

She didn't want to marry. At least not yet and not to ... this Prince Ronald ... who, she had found out was ten-years older than she was.

Hermione sighed and looked towards her window. A purple light was floating around outside her window. She had heard about the Four that had given her gifts when she was young, but she didn't remember purple being one of their colors. She rushed to the window and opened it up.

The purple light entered the room and slowly materialized into a figure about the same size as Hermione. She gasped at the masked figure.

"Hello, dear..." a woman's croaky voice filled the room. Hermione noticed a set of full lips moving, that looked absolutely nothing like an old woman's lips...

"Hello," Hermione didn't want to be impolite. "May I ask-"

"You have gave me great displeasure," the woman spoke as if Hermione were poison itself.

"I-I... what do you mean?" Hermione backed away from the stranger in complete shock.

"Before the sun rises on your sixteenth birthday... you will prick your finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel... and thus your life will end for all eternity!"

Hermione clutched at her chest as she felt the curse fall over her.

"Goodbye dearest Hermione," the woman croaked and turned back into a purple light. She floated away and left Hermione to think about her fate.

Hermione, as smart as she was, knew that there was always a counter curse for everything. She hurried out of her room, feeling a pull towards the house next door. She knew her neighbors the Parkinson's had a spinning wheel, and her heart leapt in fear. As Hermione ran down the stairs she flew past the doors to the library and found a large book on counter curses.

She found nothing that night, but knew that she still had three more weeks before she would fulfill the witch's curse.

x x x x x

Now, I know, dear reader that you are probably fearing for Hermione's life. Fear not, for if you know the false version, then you know she doesn't truly die. Well, it's the same in the real version of events. However, our "beauty" is too smart to let one stupid curse kill her...

x x x x x

Hermione had found a counter curse. It wasn't going to stop her from touching a spindle, but she knew that she wouldn't die from it, either. Of course, the counter curse she had placed upon herself made her sleep until her true love came to awake her. But, it was still like being dead. Almost.

x x x x x

"The wedding is called off;" King Arthur placed a hand on his son's shoulder. "Your betrothed is under a coma and cannot be wakened."

Prince Ronald stared at his father, "Really?"

"Yes," Arthur looked gravely at his son, "I guess that you will never marry, my son."

Ronald faltered, "W-what!"

"If Hermione does not awaken, then you cannot possibly marry her. You'll die old, lonely, and useless... unlike your brothers."

Ronald took in a deep breath and ignored what his father had just said. "Can I not marry another?"

"Marry another? Marry _another_?" Arthur laughed and patted his son on the head. "The Baron and Baroness of Dentistry would attack us with all their muggle force! How dare you suggest such tomfoolery!"

x x x x x

"Ginevra!"

"Yes, Ronald?" Ginevra smiled up at her brother. "So, are you marrying Fleur, then?"

"No," Ronald muttered.

"No?" Ginevra handed a letter to an owl. "Take this to Sir Nicholas de Mimsy Porpington, please." She looked at her brother, "What do you mean... no?"

"That blasted Hermione girl has done gone and put herself in a vegetable state!" Ronald exclaimed as he yanked a quill from the nearest peacock. The peacock gobbled at him and Ron growled back.

"What do you mean?" Ginevra tried to hide the smile. It had been she, of course, that had killed Hermione. "Vegetable state?"

"She's in a bloody coma!" Ron dabbed the quill in ink and blotted the tip on the page. "Now I have to write Fleur and tell her that we shall never be able to marry now..."

"She isn't DEAD?" Ginevra couldn't believe her ears. Coma? COMA? "If she were dead, would you be able to marry another?"

"Of course I would, but the bleedin' pigeon can't be killed now. I heard she has sentinels surrounding her room, waiting for her to wake up." Ron muttered as he scratched feverishly onto the page.

"What if I killed her for you?" Ginevra placed her hand on her brother's shoulder, to slow his writing.

"Don't be daft."

"No... I'll kill her... and you shall be able to marry whomever that suits your male... well... I'm your sister so I won't go into that sort of nonsense." Ginevra took the page away from her brother. "Hold out on writing to your beloved for a while longer, will you?"

x x x x x

Well, to make a long story short...

What? Too late you say? Bloody hell...

Well... Ginevra wasn't very good at normal spells, even though she could do a very nasty curse here and there. As we all know, of course. Anyway. She tried to make the sentinels vanish so that she could sneak into Hermione's bedchamber and poison her. However, her spell caused the entire household to fall under a deep sleep. Now, this should have been a good thing, but when the spell was cast; the castle began to quake and shake. Ivy and weeds and thorns all curled themselves around the castle; creating a protective barrier around the sleeping maiden and all of the inhabitants that were in the house.

And as the years passed; nobody dared go to Dentistry House, for fear of falling under the spell themselves.

Every year Ginevra tried at least sixty times to enter the house to kill Hermione; but the plants always fought back. After five years, she just gave up, and decided that she would finally go about her own life and stop meddling in her brother's affairs.

x x x x x

"Have you ever heard of the Dentistry House?" Draco Malfoy looked at his companions as they all rode through the countryside. He was having to make the long trip to Weasland; where the good King Arthur and his wife would hopefully knight him. He sighed at the thought of finally being able to slay dragons... at least legally now.

"Isn't that the bewitched place?" Blaise called from behind him.

"Yeah... some witch put a curse on the entire household to put them all to sleep. They say that a sleeping beauty is lying in the topmost tower." Draco winked at Blaise.

"And if you find your way to the tower; and kiss the girl that she will finally awake and make you the happiest man on earth with her beauty!" Blaise laughed out loud as he finished the tale.

"Absolute bollocks!" Goyle called out, though he was laughing with the rest of them.

"Let's stop by," Draco suggested. "See what really all the fuss is about!"

The caravan agreed with their leader and they took the road to Dentistry instead of Weasland. When they arrived they noticed that the house was indeed covered in vines and greenery.

"I say," Blaise stared in awe.

"Who's for a go at the old house?" Draco hopped off his horse and brandished his sword. He began to chop at the vines and slowly made his way across the moat.

x x x x x

Ginevra stared at the snake slithering in the grass. She had yet to marry, because of the stupid rumor that had been started by that pig of a girl Padma Patil, who was nothing more than a peasant farmer. The rumor claimed she was an evil witch. Even though Ginevra was the only one who knew it was true, it still was hurtful. She had found Padma and made her a welcoming mat so that Ginevra could beat her when she got dirty... which was more often than most welcome mats.

The snake coiled and looked as if it was about to strike, but Ginevra tapped her wand on its head and it slowly grew into a life-sized man. He had messy black hair, green eyes...

"Something is missing," she tapped his nose and a pair of glasses appeared. "Oh, yes."

"Sssssstthhhssttthhh!" The man hissed at her and she rolled her eyes.

"Oh, Harold," Ginevra whispered and the hissing stopped. The newly made Harold pushed the glasses further up his nose and blinked.

"Who are you?" He asked, the snake hissing gone completely.

"You are Prince Harold, the future King of Serpensortia and I am your soon-to-be bride. I'm Ginevra Weasley, Princess of Weasland." Ginevra curtsied and Harold bowed.

"You are beauty personified," Harold whispered. "Your red hair... your... freckles..."

"Don't try to romanticize our partnership. I only made you so I can be queen." Ginevra waved her hand in the air. "Though I hope you're well equipped, considering you were a snake."

"PRINCESS GINEVRA!"

"What is it now?" Ginevra turned around to face Frederic and George, who were running very quickly to catch up to her.

"Dentistry House is being... chopped! Some future knight wants to see if there really is a sleeping maiden in the tower!" Frederic tried to catch his breath.

"Don't be silly," Ginevra huffed, "I couldn't even break through the greenery."

"Oh, but him and his mates are having a real go at the old house." George nodded, his hat tinkling as his head moved.

Ginevra sighed and turned to her new fiancé. "Harold, dear, don't wait up." She blew him a kiss and whirled her wand as a broom appeared from thin air. "Do take care of him for me, boys."

She was off in a flash.

x x x x x

As Ginevra flew towards Dentistry; she saw that half of the green that was usually there was now lying in heaps. Her eyes bulged as she flew even faster and landed on the grass, nearly falling over at the sheer force of the landing.

"What devilry-?"

"Avada Kedavra!" Ginevra pointed her wand at the unsuspecting man as he fell over quickly. She took a deep breath as she realized it was only the carriage driver. She looked into the sky and imagined herself the most horrid of all creatures...

For sure, the men would be scared of a dark purple dragon. She breathed in and released a stream of fire into the castle.

x x x x x

"MERLIN!"

Draco turned around quickly as he heard Blaise's frightened cry. "Wha..."

A wall of fire erupted into the house and Draco could only stare as the flames engulfed his friends. He made sure he had a firm grip on his sword as he also took out his wand.

"BLOODY DRAGONS!"

x x x x x

Ginevra laughed and spurts of fire shot out of her nose. She heard the screams of her fallen foes inside the house. She hoped that she had killed a few of the cursed sleepers as well.

"All right, dragon!"

Ginevra sputtered as she looked down to see a blonde man walk out of the smoke and right into her line of fire. He was a complete idiot.

Ginevra breathed in again and blew another spout of fire that the man expertly dodged. She snarled and took a large step towards him... it obviously threw him off guard as he tried to do a binding spell. She laughed and waved it off.

"Pathetic fool," she boomed as she reached to pick him up with her claws. He swung his sword and she saw that her entire hand had been cut from her arm. She didn't scream, but she felt the pain as the blood seeped from her body. In anger she snorted two balls of fire at him as he kicked her hand into the moat's, freshly red, water.

"Try to swipe me again, I'll chop your other appendages off as well, you ugly brute!" The man yelled as he stabbed her toe.

Ginevra now had him, as he wasn't looking up. She was going to make him a blonde kabob... she never fancied actually eating other wizards... but this time she'd make an exception. As she breathed in she felt a slight pain in the left side of her chest. She looked down and saw that there was a sword right where her heart should be...

_If I have a heart at all,_ she thought as the blood poured from the wound_. Obviously it is indeed there_.

"Take that..." the blonde man cried as Ginevra fell to the ground. She looked up to see him snarl at her and rip his sword out of her ribs.

And with that... the evil witch Ginevra was defeated. It was no more than she deserved and it definitely took someone long enough to finally kill the old... er... hag ...

x x x x x

Well, as you may know, Draco went up to the topmost tower and kissed the now ever amazingly beautiful maiden. Hermione wasn't stupid, you see. She knew she wasn't the most beautiful girl in all the world... so... as part of her counter curse, the longer she slept the more beautiful she became. After five years (considering she wasn't all that ugly to begin with) she was the most beautiful in all the land.

When Hermione opened her eyes, she saw her new husband for the first time and wept as he carried her down the steps to see her mother and father awake from their spell-induced sleep.

Hermione, Draco, and all of those in Dentistry lived happily ever after. Until of course Draco found out that Hermione was muggle-born and decided that Pansy Parkinson (Hermione's neighbor with the spinning wheel) was a much better match for him. But, Hermione married the King of Serpensortia and lived happily ever after as Queen Hermione. Even though, her husband King Haroldstayed in a mental institution, because he kept saying that he really was a snake.

In Weasland, Ronaldfound out that Hermione had married another and finally was able to marry Fleur of the Veelas. They divorced six months later, because Ron found out that Fleur was actually William's (his eldest brother) mistress.

So - not all happily ever afters are indeed all that happy. But, that, dear readers, is thetale of TheSleeping Beauty as it should be. No more... no less... but a masterpiece in it's own right.

x x x chapter end x x x

_Author's Note :_ Each chapter will be a new Fairy Tale from around the world. Some you'll know; some you probably won't know... but I'm going to use many different kinds.

Also; this is only a sampling at the pairings I'll use. I'm actually against H/G... but it suited very well with this story... so... there it is. It's just however the story takes me, really. :) And, no I don't hate Harry or Ginny ... I just don't like the pairing.

Masterpiece the Second:

The Beast's Story


	2. The Gingerbread Wizard

__

Disclaimer : All Harry Potter things are copyright of the one and only JK Rowling. All the Fairy Tales are owned by whoever wrote them first... which wasn't me. Thank you ever so very much. I just put two and two together and got fifty-two. o.O Odd sort of math, I know... but yes... I own NOTHING.

****

Fairy Tale Theatre: The Harry Potter Edition

Masterpiece the Second

The Gingerbread Wizard

Just in case you haven't been following... the original version of the little gingerbread boy is just a bunch of nonsense. I'm going to tell you exactly what happened... and how...

x x x x x

Once upon a time, there was an old man and a woman who lived in a small cottage. The woman, her name was Molly, was considered the best cook in all the land. No matter how much happiness her cooking brought her, there was something missing in her life. She and her husband Arthur had no children of their own.

"Since when am I considered old and without children?"

... And ... now see here! I can't have you interrupting me throughout the story. Just go with what I say...

Even though they had no children, the elderly Weasleys ("Hmph!") were famous throughout the land for their marvelous cooking skills. One day, Molly decided to bake a batch of cookies. As she was cutting the dough, she decided to make a large cookie, in the shape of a boy.

It was silly, of course, but since Molly had no children, she thought that she would name the gingerbread cookie just for fun. While it baked in the oven, she thought long and hard about what name to use. She had a few names ready, but decided on picking one as soon as she decorated the cookie. As she opened the oven door, a flash of brown escaped form the oven and hopped on top of the stove.

"Merlin!" Molly gasped.

"I don't like that name," the gingerbread boy shouted at Molly.

Then a small shouting match ensued where the gingerbread cookie boy kept dismissing every name Molly thought of naming him. Finally they both decided on one name that they both liked... Percy.

"WHAT!"

... Oh, fine. Fine, fine, fine ...

They both decided on a name that they both liked... Ron. Ron smiled up at his new mother and jumped to give her a hug. However, the jump he made was not a very good one, considering gingerbread cookie boys can't jump very far. He landed with a crunch on the floor; and Molly saw that both of his cookie arms had crumbled off.

"I must cook more!"

... But ... you're going to fix Ron. Don't try changing the story!...

"I'll cook two more gingerbread cookies in the shape of boys. Just in case one decides to jump and break off his legs." Molly cried, obviously ignoring the narrator.

... Now I have to change the title to make it plural. Oh, well. It doesn't really matter...

Molly patched Ron together first, using a sugar-based paste and then set to work. As soon as she was done, out popped two gingerbread boys. They hopped on top of the table and did a very odd sort of dance. When they were finished they paused in a pose and looked directly at their new mother.

"Gred and Forge!" The two gingerbread boys screamed together.

"What kind of names are those? No, you will be Fred and George." Molly then hugged both of them and placed them on the floor.

Now, this was not the wisest thing for Molly to do. As soon as they touched the floor, they ran straight to the door. The scurried out into the great wild wizarding country, with not even a glance behind their shoulders.

Molly tried to chase after them, but realized that they were too fast.

"Mum, I'm sure they'll come back," Ron tried to reassure his mother.

"Haven't you _ever_ heard the original tale?" Molly cried out. "I must bake more... I'll name them Charlie, Bill, and Ginny."

... Don't bother. I have to follow the two gingerbread _wizards_... plural...

And so as the Weasleys took the gingerbread boys flight to heart, the two boys were having a wonderful time getting into lots of mischief.

After they left The Burrow, Fred and George kept running until they reached a dairy farm.

"A dairy farm? Mate, you've got to be kidding me?" Fred placed his little gingerbread hand on his little gingerbread hip.

... That's the first place you go according to the story, Fred...

"Why can't it be like a chicken farm?" George shrugged as he looked up at the large, _Tonks Dairy Farm_ sign.

"Are you mental?" Fred knocked his brother upside his gingerbread head. "Do you want to be pecked into oblivion?"

"So? That's better than being dunked in a big vat of _milk_!"

"Er... no?"

... Are you both quite finished? ...

"Yes," the two gingerbread wizards smiled.

So, the gingerbread boys came to a dairy farm. As they looked around they bumped into the calf of one of the milk maids. She glanced down and with a hearty laugh, bent down to try and grab them. For she had a great hunger for gingerbread that had suddenly risen inside of her. In her quest to have a gingerbread snack, she took on the help of all the milk maids at the dairy farm.

Fred and George realized that the situation was not a good one. So, they-

"So, we sing..." Fred looked at his brother and then they both began to sing at the very same time.

"We run, we run, as fast as we can, because we're the gingerbread... wait. What rhymes with 'can'?"

... I have the correct rhyme if you would like me to tell the story. Interruptions only slow us down, you know...

The two gingerbread boys fled the scene of the insane milk maids, all the while singing, "We've ran away from mum and our old man. And we can run away from you! Oh, yes we can!"

And, so they ran as fast as they could away from death by mastication.

Fred giggled with his new gingerbread throat, "Mastication."

"We have to run some more?" George scratched his gingerbread chin with his gingerbread finger.

... Unless you want me to eat you both and end my horrid attempts at trying to tell the story...

The two gingerbread boys ran as fast as they could until they came to a large field. The field was lush and green and many farm animals were grazing in this glorious field. Fred and George paused and bounded up to the nearest creature to introduce themselves. However, the nearest creature was a ravenous horse. The horse took one glance at them and decided that she wanted to chew them up.

However...

"We know," Fred and George called together as they began to run away from the extremely hungry horse. Their monotonous tones filled the air as they ran, "We've ran away from mum and our old man, and a bunch of old milk maids. And we can run away from you, munching on grass blades!"

... Bit more jollier during the next verse, please...

"You try running and singing." Fred huffed and puffed as his little gingerbread legs took him quickly away.

As the two ran, they came to the edge of a forest. During their short travels, a Phoenix had been watching them and had hoped that they would come close to her so that she could gobble them up for her dessert.

... Boys?...

"We've run away from mum and our old man, the milk maids, and a horse. And we can run away from you, of course!"

And, so, again they ran. They ran deeper into the forest, confusing the Phoenix, and escaping death yet again. George nearly fell into a river, but Fred saved him before he became a soggy gingerbread brother.

"We've ran away from mum and our old man, the milk maids, a horse, and a bird. And we can jump right over you, yes sir!" They cried as they hopped over the river without getting the least bit soggy.

As they were laughing about their good fortune, they both ran nose first into a fox.

"Ah, young masters," the fox's soothing voice filled the air. "What lovely gumdrop buttons you have."

Fred's eyes opened wide as he nudged his brother with his gingerbread elbow. "Wait... I know what happens next."

"You do?" George asked incredulously. "Did you jump the gun during the read through?"

"No... well, yes... I mean... it doesn't matter!" Fred screamed as the fox licked his lips. "We're about to be eaten!"

"WHAT?" George screamed, his little licorice mouth opened in a wide horrific 'O'. "STOP THE STORY!"

... What is it now?...

"Can't we just run around some more and escape from other things?" George blinked, a small sugary tear leaking from his chocolate kiss eye.

... I thought you didn't want to run around. Besides, what's the point of delaying the story anymore? We all know the fate of the gingerbread boy... er... boys. You're going to get eaten and we're all going to learn a great moral lesson...

"Which is?" George crossed his little gingerbread arms.

... I don't remember, but that's not the point, either. You're annoying the readers! Just get eaten already!...

"Why couldn't we have just fallen and broken off our arms like Ron?" Fred muttered.

... You'll still be broken. Just in tinier, soggier pieces...

"Yeah, well, I don't fancy being fox poop." George huffed as his little gingerbread fingers tapped against his gingerbread arm.

... You were the ones who ran away from home, you know...

"Ah, so that's the catch is it?" Fred's face lit up. "Gingerbread wizards who run away from home get eaten by foxes, eh?"

... I dunno. I'm just reading the story...

"So, what if we go home, then?" Fred placed a gingerbread hand on his brother's gingerbread shoulder.

And, so the gingerbread twins didn't get eaten, because they ran all the way home as fast as they could. In fact, they ran home much like the little pig that went, "Wee, wee, wee!" all the way home. But, that little pig is not important to the story, and neither is the fact that the gingerbread boys were saying, "Wee, wee, wee."

What is important is that the fox never got to gobble them up, and that their mother got to have all of her gingerbread children back at home.

So, there it is. The Gingerbread Wizards didn't get eaten, because they realized that home is a lot better than being eaten by a fox. That is the tale. No more... no less... but a masterpiece in it's own right.

x x x chapter end x x x

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Author's Note : Well that was odd, no? Thanks to FRITZ (I loffs you!) for giving me the idea to have the characters not like how the story was going. I think I might follow this type of pattern throughout all the stories. I know a few won't be written that way because I've already written them, and I think they are okay like they are, but they'll be few and far between.

If you read, please review. I'd love to know what you think.

Masterpiece the Third:

****

Master Gives Me Clothes


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